Reflections on an Easter Sunday

Who is my brother?

It will be the first Social Business Innovations Camp in a few days and some bed space facilities are still being constructed...and I’m seeing stars.  Don’t laugh but I’ve been assigned to be in the construction team of the Enchanted Farm with zero knowledge of being an architect, a contractor, a foreman, or an engineer (*faint*).  Since I’m also part of the team looking after the facilities, it made sense that we don’t only make sure the facilities are guest-ready, but the facilities are also ready to rise from the ground (*clueless*). 

The on-going construction of facilities around the farm has been providing jobs to the residents of the Gawad Kalinga community and by trying my very best to be a “foreman”, it drew me closer to the community.  Spending time with them is when I witness first-hand some of the values Tito Tony continuously talks about like hardwork and zero-tolerance for substandard quality, but foundational, is good relationships. 

So back to the story – so a few days into the camp, I see that the toilet tiles of the Grass Villa bathroom are not aligned, creating a concaved bathroom wall so I’m frantic that it gets corrected immediately, otherwise, it will stay that way...forever!   Adding to my frazzleness is the lingering thought that my brother, who has just arrived from Doha, is in Manila and wants to treat me to dinner, and I have no idea as to what time I’m going to be done in the farm.  I’m being pulled in two directions – either I stay to make sure the whole bathroom does not lean on one side or I just jump into the car and meet my brother.  And then, I receive a text from Tito Tony, saying that it would be wise to stay.  So I did, I said, ‘yes tito, no problem’.

That night, I was sorting through my day and I realized that I was feeling a tight knot inside like something was not right.  I was certain it had something to do with me not being able to make it to my brother’s dinner plans.  But in my head, I knew it was the best decision to stay.  And so, I needed to untie the knot. 

My brother gave me an opportunity to play an important role in his life as his sister.  I took on financial responsibilities for his education and basically acted like a parent to him.  So I guess I felt I deserved to be treated out to dinner, now that he has a good-paying job.  While untying the knot, I realized one thing – that while I will forever hold the title of “the sister who awarded a full scholarship” to my brother, my work is done here.  It is time to let go and move on.  And now that my work is with Gawad Kalinga, I now ask – who is my brother?

 

“I Thirst”

It is Social Business Innovations Camp day and I have not changed shirts, because I did not plan to stay in the farm days before, thus, I did not have new clothes to change into.  Nevertheless, I still took a bath, but wore the same shirt.  I am expecting to be running around like a crazy lady the whole day, until the next day, so whatever misses there will be, they will be bombs I will have to take and bear.  It is the moment of letting go.  BUT, to my surprise, I actually stay put, except on some few occasions. 

Each speaker is inspiring, complementing each other in inspiration – exactly my craving.  And I am not the only one fired up, each participant is.  The whole team worked very hard weeks before to piece everything together and I have to admit, I was not expecting to be an inch inspired.

I have, yet again, diminished the value of the whole experience, even before it happens.  I only focus on the amount of work that needs to be done and on whether it was done well.  I never anticipate what comes next.  That while there is much value in hardwork and sacrifice, the moment of letting go is the start of grace and to my shock and awe, I came out very much inspired.

 

Don’t light the candle

Weeks have gone by and I am still drawn to the camp experience.   Similar situations have already happened after, and then I remember the camp and I’m sane all over again.  I realized that when there is nothing or anything left to be done, as it may be beyond my capacity or control, I have a choice to let go.  It’s just like the Good Friday a few days ago when all the lights went out and the farm was in total darkness, we had no choice but to be dependent on the moonlight. 

 

“Pag-ibig ba ang dahilan ng iyong pagkilos?” – Homily, Easter Sunday, 8April 2012

Social Business Camp Batch 1